Fathers Teaching Children Fosters Bonds
Fathers have important responsibilities in their lives. They are called to provide for, take care of, teach, and protect their children, giving them all of the tools necessary to succeed in life.
For the fathers that have an opportunity to have an active role in their child’s life they have the chance to make a difference in the growth and development of their child.
Being an active parent means taking an interest in what your child is interested in, bonding over the common experiences and helping them get better at what they love.
The Haynes family
Recently, the Philadelphia Inquirer highlighted a girls basketball camp taking place at both Chew Playground and at Universal Audenried Charter High School in south Philadelphia. A father, grandfather, and daughter, Jon Haynes, Kevin Slaughter, and Jaye Haynes, were the focus of the piece and how the girls who attend the camp learn so much more through the hands-on experience of playing hard.
Jon, a former star point guard at Villanova and a former European pro, is one of the many fathers that grew up playing basketball on Philadelphia playgrounds, teaching their daughters how to improve their instincts on the basketball court.
For them, it is not about their individual skills. For them, it is about playing in a new environment with different types of people and allowing their skills to react on the court. The fathers encourage their daughters and foster a home for them to hone their abilities to become better basketball players.
In creating an atmosphere for their daughters to succeed and become better at what they love, they are teaching them the discipline to succeed in any craft that they may need in the future. Dedication is a trait that transcends sports and contributes to the development of a child long after they stop playing basketball.
Opportunity to be parents
These role models were given the opportunity to be parents and grandparents in the lives of these young women, an opportunity that many men do not receive. The relationship between a father and a child is not always promoted, but fathers are an essential piece in a child’s life and are beneficial to their development.
This is why shared parenting is so heavily advocated. It is not a concept that is advocating for one parent to be a preferred caretaker over another. It is advocating for equality in the best interests of the shared child.
This gives both parents the opportunity to be a part of a child’s development. This gives fathers the ability to teach their child how to dribble a basketball or to help them with their science homework. It also gives similarly shared traits to develop. If a father is good at cooking and a child wants to learn more, they have that opportunity through the time they spend together in the kitchen, teaching and learning.
This also bonds parents and children, which is important especially after a difficult divorce. The divorce process can often bring out the worst in individuals, and children can often find themselves as the audience of that type of emotion. They may require extra one-on-one time with each parent in order to show a softer, kinder, and more generous side than what may have been displayed during the height of divorce stress.
A child needs to be able to see both of their parents as positive caretakers, and that means that parental alienation needs to stay as far away from the situation as possible. As satisfying as it may be for you personally, alienating a child from their parent does too much harm to ever be justified in any context. Let a parent’s actions speak for themselves and do not project your feelings about a co-parent or an ex-spouse onto a child that you share with them.
This means allowing your co-parent to spend time with their child. Let them take a child to the park or spend the night at their place. This allows a parent to develop a better understanding of who their child is as an individual. They learn more about what they like, what they dislike, what they are passionate about, and so many other preferences.
In fostering an open dialogue and relationship with a child, you become better equipped to take care of them. You can be a better teacher and a better role model by finding ways of helping a child, like the Haynes family. You can be there to cheer them on and watch them succeed.