False Allegations Of Domestic Violence

false allegations of domestic violence

When it comes to domestic violence awareness, most of the attention is paid to abused women. But readers of MensRights.com know all too well how prevalent domestic violence against men is.

You also know how false allegations of abuse are being used against you, primarily for strategic legal reasons. MensRights.com editor Matt Allen discussed the issue of domestic violence against men in divorce and child custody cases with Cordell & Cordell mens divorce attorney Heather Biagi.


Men’s Rights: We’ve talked about the evidence needed to disprove false allegations or to prove that you were abused, but how can you preemptively prevent these from happening?

Heather Biagi: It kind of depends on what parties you’re dealing with. If you’re dealing with parties who don’t get along that are going through a divorce, but they’ve never had a history of violence and neither one of them is overly aggressive — and by aggressive I mean aggressively wanting one party out of the house or not — then I don’t advise my clients to worry too much about a false protection order being filed.

But in cases where I know what the posturing is going to be, if it’s a case where there’s a lot at stake – such as money or mom has it in her head that dad should not have any time with the children – then I tell my client, “if she starts a fight with you then you walk away. If she tries to say anything to you then you walk away. Be careful what you text her, she’s going to text you something awful. Be careful what you write because writing is so powerful and there’s no context to it, no tone.”

So while you might say something that’s a joke or something you’ve been saying for years, your wife could take it to the judge and say, “Here’s where he threatened to do this to me” when in fact that’s not really what happened.


Men’s Rights: If you have successfully proven that the allegations of domestic violence against you are false, what do you get out of it? Is the alleging party punished or are you just happy the charges were dropped?domestic violence

Heather Biagi: It varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction and is also very dependent on what judge you’re in front of, but there are a couple of things you can potentially get out of it such as your attorney’s fees paid.

You can always request the judge to order your wife to pay your attorney’s fees since she was the one who filed a frivolous action against you.

Probably the most beneficial thing that you can get out of it is ruining the other party’s credibility. I tell my clients every time I speak with them that anytime you’re going to go to court do not embellish and do not shade it to your favor. Just tell the truth.

You don’t want to get stuck in a lie because when you lose credibility with the judge or you’ve proven that you are not an honest person in front of that judge, the judge will remember it and there is nothing an attorney — I don’t care how good they are — can do to rehabilitate their client once the client has lied to the judge.

As a mens divorce lawyer, I would consistently bring up a party’s previous lies at every hearing or motion filed.

I would say, “Judge, you remember when she filed the order of protection and it was unfounded? Do you remember when she made these allegations of abuse and they were completely unfounded? At what lengths will this person go to get what they want?”

So realistically, the benefit to you is the loss of her credibility and the ability to use that lie to your advantage in future hearings.

Losing the trust of the judge is the worst possible thing that could happen to a client.


Men’s Rights: So credibility is everything?

Heather Biagi: Absolutely. Credibility is everything.

Watch the DadsDivorce Live interview with attorney Heather Biagi on domestic violence:



Matt Allen


  1. Douglas Says: May 27, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    I’m going through this right now! I made the horrible mistake of letting my estranged wife back into my home (misplaced notion of compassion and mercy due to mutual LDS beliefs, at least they are on MY part, as for hers, I dunno…). We lived together for several months, at first in mine own small half-plex and soon thereafter we rented a small home suitable for the three of us. “Wifey” began “volunteering” at WEAVE, supposedly to get free conseling and experience to re-enter workplace. I was not satisfied with explanation of her comings and goings, and demanded proof. Found evidence she was actually seeing the supposedly erstwhile druggie b/f on the sly and I kicker her out in April ’14. After only a week (Spring Break) her grown daughter brings her back and, mistakenly, I let her back in (she was also on the lease, I couldn’t legally refuse her and I didn’t want her bothering the grown daughter pregnant with her third child), with the supposed understanding that we were going to divorce anyway due to obvious lack of ability to trust, but at least I’d give her a “soft landing”. “Wifey” at first behaves, then resumes seeing druggie b/f anyway. I find out, confront her, and tell her to GTFO. SHE gets violent, grabs my laptop and threatens to smash it, demands that I give her the keys to MY car (that I’d already bought out in the property settlement). I grab laptop back, she pushes me and tries to grab keys out of my pockets. I clinch, defend contents of my pockets and my cajones. She screams to teenaged daughter (ours, we each have several grown children from prior marriages) “he’s hitting me!”. I retreat, grab house phone, and call 9-1-1 to have her removed. Deputies show up THIRTY minutes later (amazing how LE takes only ‘minutes’ when second count…), two female who’ve apparently watched too many reruns of “Cagney and Lacey”. After twenty minutes, deputies are obviously annoyed with us both. “Wifey” has asthma attack, I HELP HER set up machine (don’t want her to die on me in THAT scenario!) and treat her. Deputies interview each of us, at first “Wifey” agrees to leave peaceably IF I just give her my older car (1995 Mercedes) and let her take a few personal items. I agree and go to bedroom (I figure I’d either get it back in a few weeks or apply stipulated value against alimony) to get her purse. When I give it to deputy, she places ME under arrest for Domestic Violence. While in jail, “Wifey” makes allegation of a second incident in prior month, when in fact I never saw her at all and my verified whereabouts PROVE that I was away from the home at the time of this fabricated incident. Her allegations caused my bail ($50K) to NOT be reduced, thank goodness relatives came to my rescue! I’m certain, however, that local DA will do NOTHING to deal with this false allegation. My wish is to sue this woman in court as I have pending substantial spousal support over the next five and a half years to pay out (some $105K) and it grates me to pay anything to a person that is willing to perjure and slander me for gain and/or revenge (e.g., I wouldn’t be her patsy to play the “good little LDS housewife” outwardly to friends and family and fellow Church members, and still do drugs and “Gawd” knows what with the b/f). In light of tragic case in MA (Remy, son of former Red Sox player) I can certanly understand and can STILL applaud hard-nosed, zero tolerance attitude towards these SOBs that think it’s ok to hit a woman. However, the law and how it’s being enforced has gone way overboard and runs roughshod over the Constitution, both Federal and State(s), the rule of law and due process. No man should have to go through this shit.

  2. 8 Years ago my wife of 17 years was having an affair with our neighbor. His wife caught them and divorced him. Through all of this I had no idea anything had happened. My wife was having a problem with stress, she said “because of her job”. Then one day she went berserk and was throwing things and screaming while me and our two kids watched. I told her to go sit down and calm down. She went into our bedroom and locked the door. A half hour later the police arrived and after talking to her arrested me for hitting her in the chest. I told them it was a lie. They said she had a red mark on her chest and I was arrested. While I was in jail for 4 days she took $10,000 out of our savings. $43,000 which was my retirement money. I ended up with 2 court cases. 1. Domestic Battery and 2. Divorce w custody battle for 2 kids and no money for an attorney. Because she was a “Battered Woman” she got her attorney for free.
    The kids wanted to live with me, as we were very close. I had to make a plan of action. I decided to do whatever it took to get my kids. To hell with everything else. I put all my effort in the divorce and took a plea agreement in the battery case. After 2 years in court my ex offered to give me the kids if I would give her everything else. House, money, cars, etc. I took it! Now I have a domestic battery on my record making me not eligible for a job with any company and am raising my 2 kids. My ex gave our house to a boyfriend. Since broke up with him and became an alcoholic.
    This is how women use the court’s today!

  3. I just need anybody to help me find a good lawyer who helps men fighting for their kids. I was accused of domestic abuse and am currently awaiting trial. My public defender wants me to do 6 more months in jail for a crime I DID not commit. Not to mention it will be my first felony. The most of my worry being the amount of time I missed with my two boys iv taken care of 24/7 since birth the mother has always been lazy never worked and is falling school. I want my kids and these charges dropped I am willing to pay just don’t trust the lawyers in the Lafayette Indiana area please help! 219-604-1525 any information or a nudge in the right direction would be greatly appreciated! Name is Anthony montoya

    • Going through this now girlfriend went to the cop’s and made false accusations they took her to a women’s shelter they came back two days later and threw me out with nothing no money no clothes nowhere to go and told me I was on on my own gave her both automobiles in no way to work I lost my job the child even told me that wasn’t hot enough for a case of that they done this to met

  4. Cops said no evidence of abuse

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