Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Alimony
When you know you are about to experience a divorce, there is a range of emotions that you experience that may cloud your more rational ways of thinking. While those emotions are important and should be handled in a constructive and healthy method, those rational thoughts regarding your financial future are too important to ignore.
Your future is on the line, and without taking the proper steps to put yourself on the best track to post-divorce recovery, you could be facing an even longer and more challenging road to reclaiming your pre-divorce standard of living.
Before your divorce, you may not have realized how important maintaining your standard of living is to your overall well-being, which is why many men who make less than their former spouses do not think to ask for spousal support. However, alimony can help you rebound from the costs of an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage.
In order to proceed down that path, you need to rely on a family law attorney who understands the financial difficulties that men face during the divorce experience. You need to trust that they will treat your case with the utmost care and respect and do everything that they can, in order to put you on the best path moving forward.
Overcoming fear or shame
Asking for alimony as a man is nothing to be afraid of or ashamed about.
“Our attorneys have found guys believe asking for alimony is perceived as a sign of weakness, further emasculating them in a relationship that was already lopsided and broken,” Cordell & Cordell Principal Partner and Co-Founder Joseph E. Cordell said in his column for The Huffington Post. “If the roles were reversed, the wife would ask for alimony and not blink an eye.”
In a world that practices self-love and self-care, you are following the trend and doing the same. You are thinking about your future and the future of your family moving forward. You cannot be an active parent while in poverty, and alimony can help you through some of the more dire financial hardships that men can face after a divorce.
Changing trends
Given that researchers estimate that divorced spouses would, on average, need more than a 30-percent increase in their income to maintain the same standard of living that they had prior to their divorce, improving your financial health needs to be a primary concern. For you, as a man, the losses sustained to your standard of living range between 10 and 40 percent, according to research from Utah State University.
The fear behind men asking for alimony is dissipating. According to a survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 45 percent of attorneys have seen an increase in women responsible for paying alimony. This coincides with the 54 percent of attorneys that have cited an increase in the number of mothers paying child support.
“While men have almost always expected to pay alimony, many women still have a very difficult time accepting that this financial obligation might fall to them,” Madeline Marzano-Lesnevich, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, said in a news release. “Unlike with previous generations, there are now many more two-income households with parents who serve as equals in taking care of the home and raising the children. This current reality is certainly being recognized by the courts.”
This sounds like the concept of alimony is changing, but the reality is that courts are supposed to award alimony to the spouse who needs the financial assistance. Whether that spouse is male, female, or non-binary, it should not impact the court’s decision.
Not alone
If you pursue alimony, you will not be alone. Whether it is in the headlines of Hollywood or in the world of athletics, many men are pursuing alimony, in an effort to recover from the financial losses of divorce.
Whether it is Alicia Silverstone’s ex-husband Christopher Jarecki receiving $12,000 a month in spousal support until January 31, 2024 or former NBA player Shelden Williams receiving a lump sum alimony payment from former WNBA champion Candace Parker, men are not allowing fear or shame to dictate their financial recovery.
